16 hours of driving. Smith Rocks OR or bust.

The [observed] roadkill count stands at:

3 coyotes
1 jackrabbit
2 raccoons
7 deer
1 chicken
13 mystery splats
Romney/Ryan lawn placards... countless

Our psyche to get on the rock is HIGH so the senseless tragedy of wildlife squishage is quickly forgotten as the magnificence of world-class uber-choss reveals itself.











We set up trailer-Arnie at Skull Hollow campground. We've got 6 days. The Plan: climb until we drop.






Day 1: Welcome

It's my first visit to Smith. Mr.E put up a handful of routes here BITD and it's his first re-visit in 16 years. We started the week with an obligatory trudge part-way up Misery Ridge.

It was a Sunday. Waiting lines on the classics of course so we started the trip off with Iron Curtain which, inexplicably, did not have a wait (trad 5.9R). The first piece of protection was a Z2 with a screamer...15 feet off the ground before a hard move. :) Ran a TR on P1 of Gulag Archipelago and then up a couple easy bolted climbs when they cleared up. Then moved down the hill to do a couple classic multi-star dihedrals on Moonshine Dihedral and Lion's Jaw.








The most obvious change since E was last here is the amount of trail-work that has been done to prevent erosion. The sheer amount of rock, pressure-treated wood and dirt that has been terraced into a kind of climber's Machu-Pichu is pretty astounding. E was particularly amused by the steel staircase that was built directly to the base of 3 of his climbs. (Overkill perhaps ??). Might as well tack some red carpet on it and install a "Start Here -->" sign.




Day 2: It's all about M[E]


The morning icicles from the field-sprinklers give no indication of the 80-degree mid-day temps to come. After an uber-restful 10-hour sleep on Arnie's paraly-foam mattress and a hot breakfast at the Sun Spot and we were ready to rumble.






After a warm up on 5 Gallon Buckets I got a tour of some E-routes Snuffy Smith, Tuff it Out & No Golf Shoes until the hot sun drove us down river to seek shade at the Phoenix Buttress where we spent the remainder of the day.




Day 3: Pebble madness.

Somehow we ended up on xeno-faces the whole day. Starting at the top of the Dihedrals and working down we warmed up with some mediocre pebble-wrestling on Helium Woman & Captain Xenolith which E reports have lost a certain # of nubbins since he last climbed them. Moving down hill we ran up Revelations and E did an impressive no-stick-clip lead of the old-school bolted Barbeque the Pope






Then we took a nice hike around the backside on the scenic-trail over to The Monkey.






We had planned on doing the multi-pitch Wherever I May Roam but in spite of it being mid-week, there were multiple parties on it. After 40 minutes of watching a party of 3 not move...at all.. we decided to move on.

E clowned around imitating the Monkey and we did Cosmos and gazed longingly up Trezlar bemoaning the fact that we didn't bring trad gear with us that day.





Got this nice shot of the eastside with the reflection of Shiprock coming back over Asterisk Pass.





Day 4:The "Rest Day".

E proclaims that our "rest day" will consist of only one climb... The Monkey. We started our rest day with the full-monte death slog up the entire length of Misery Ridge. I took a rest (collapsed) at the top of the hill.






Dropping down to reveal the impressive pillar of welded ash that is the Monkey. The closer we got ... the scarier it looked BTW.




We opted for the West Face Direct Variation with the Pioneer's Route aid-finish up and out the mouth. I have aid-climbed like.. once...years ago but I was game for the follow. The intro pitches were fun. My aid climbing sucked and was slow, but I managed to muppet my way up to the mouth with a lot of shenanigans.





Oddly enough we were the ONLY people on The Monkey the entire day. We drew quite a crowd on the trail and bluff snapping pictures as we did the final freaky exit out the mouth and the rappel. Definitely the craziest 10 feet of 5.7 climbing on the planet. A few people promised us some pics so hopefully they will come along later.




Maid-Aid:






As a side note.. we used our new double/twin 7.8mm ropes for this climb. In spite of the multiple internet posts proclaiming "yur gonna die" free-rappelling a full rope length on these... we are still alive and kicking - although tossing ourselves out into mid-air 150' off the deck on two pieces of dental floss was initially disconcerting.. turns out one extra biner = same friction as regular ropes. Erik on the rappel:





Rest day my ass.


Slackliner we saw on the hike out:





Day 5: Basaltine crackers anyone?




Hardly Visible (Kevin R.) had pulled into town with his gal-pal and gave us a call. He proposed a day in the lower gorge to climb some basalt columns which we gladly(foolishly?) agreed to. It was the first time I'd met him in person and it was somewhat like spending the day with Kris Kristofferson's quirky climbing brother... or Moses, minus the commandments.

Hardly Visible.. we can see you...







Basalt is something I rarely climb and never climb well, so I was looking forward to the experience of having my ass handed to me... which is how it usually goes with columnar basalt. Erik led and got bouted on Gruff to start things off. Kevin led Badfinger next which ended up being a great size for my hands and my favorite of the day. Erik had gotten his groove back at that point and sent Puck and Quasar in short order.










It was a beautiful day with fine company. Kevin was great on the rock in spite of being off the couch and crutching around at ground level from his plethora of injuries. 4 climbs was sufficient to beat us totally into submission. Our hands were aching and our bodies cried "uncle" so we called it a day.


Day 6: Last dance.

We were totally worked from the day before and decided some uber-easy muti-pitch was in order. In spite of an early start there were parties on Super Slab and our backup plan Moscow had climbers qued up as well. Gazing to the left we decided a "Plan C" after looking at Chounard's Crack so we did that and climbed around the other parties on Peking which ended up being crumbly but great fun and worth the go. The finish is total choss but we love that crap. The headwall covered in bright yellow lichen is gorgeous, and the view from the topout awesome.










We hiked down Misery trail. Clouds were mounting and a few sprinkles of rain started to fall as Erik led the first pitch of Bay of Pigs. As I was belaying Erik... I suddenly had an acute flashback... of NOT clipping my climbing shoes to my harness after topping out Peking.... Meh. After a fruitless search of my pack.. I knew for sure... they were at the top. My bad date with Misery Ridge was not over. I let E rap off and started the re-slog up the mountain to collect my shoes. Did I mention Meh? By the time I got back down the weather was getting colder and wetter so we decided to pack it up and start heading home.

Goodby Smith Rocks. Totally exhausted from 6 straight days of climbing but happy.


GNI-KRAP ON!!!! man!!!